As You Facilitate Learning Think About Your Instruction Style
Field Notes are a collection of observations, reflections, and research-informed insights designed to help parents better understand a child's behaviors, interests, and development. Each one takes a common scenario, looks at it through a developmental lens, and offers practical ways the circle of adults around that child can help. Our field notes are observational only and not meant to diagnose.
The My Learning Circle Field Notes are for educational purposes only and are not intended to diagnose or assess any child. If you have persistent concerns about your child's development, learning, behavior, or well-being, please consult your pediatrician or another qualified professional.
You give a direction, “Get ready for bed,” “Clean this up,” “Start your homework” and nothing useful happens. You repeat it louder. You add three more steps mid-sentence. They stare, argue, wander off, or do the wrong thing first. You hear yourself say, “I already told you,” while they insist they didn’t hear you, or “I didn’t know that’s what you meant.” Everyone ends frustrated. The task still isn’t done.
Are they ignoring me on purpose? Why do I have to say everything five times? Am I unclear or are they not listening? How many steps is too many for their age? Should I be firmer, or is firmer making it worse?
Following instructions is a thinking task, not only an obedience task. It asks a child to attend, hold steps in working memory, translate words into actions, and manage the urge to do something more interesting instead. Ormrod’s writing on self-regulation describes learners who can plan a course of action and monitor progress skills that are still under construction for many children. Long, vague, or stacked directions overload the system.
Cueing and clarity matter. Ormrod and related learning research highlight how antecedent signals. clear prompts, predictable wording, visible supports make the desired action more likely. “ Get ready” is a category, not a step. “Pajamas, teeth, book” is a sequence a child can run.
Motivation sits underneath compliance, too. Children are more likely to follow through when they believe they can succeed (self-efficacy) and when the ask feels doable and purposeful (value). Directions given mid-chaos, mid-shame, or mid-power-struggle often fail before the child even starts.
1. Get attention first. Say their name. Wait for eyes or a “yeah.” One calm cue beats three ignored sentences.
2. Give one to three concrete steps. Short words. Specific actions. “Shoes on. Backpack by the door.” Not “Can you maybe start getting ready if you have a second?”
3. Ask them to replay the plan. “What’s first?” If they can say it, they’re more likely to do it and you catch misunderstandings early.
4. Add a visual when repeats are constant. Checklist, pictures, or a sticky note sequence. Let the environment carry part of the instruction load.
5. Use momentum: start with an easy step they can do immediately, then the harder one. Praise the start (“You got the first step”) more than you lecture the gap.
Fewer repeats. Faster starts. They ask a clarifying question instead of melting down. They begin a step before you escalate. You notice yourself giving cleaner directions and needing less volume to be heard. Progress is often uneven across settings (home vs. rushing out the door), which is normal while the skill consolidates.
Clear instructions are a gift to a developing brain, not a personality test. When directions fail, get curious: Was attention secured? Were steps concrete? Was the ask too big for this moment? Support the circle of adults to use the same short phrases so the child isn’t translating three dialects of “get ready.” Consistency and clarity teach; shame rarely does.
Ormrod, J. E., & Jones, B. D. (2018). Essentials of educational psychology: Big ideas to guide effective teaching (5th ed.). Pearson.
More Learning Lab resources to keep momentum going.
Children are motivated when they believe in themselves and enjoy the task.
